WHY YOU WEIGH WHAT YOU WEIGH

You weigh what you weigh because you are emotionally “comfortable” at that weight. It is within your “emotional comfort zone.” You say that you hate weighing what you do. You may be 30 or more pounds overweight. You can hardly stand it. Your clothes don’t fit the way you want them to. You can’t wear clothes you like. People may make fun of you. You don’t like to weigh yourself. It’s never good news. You’ve tried every diet there is and all the recipes you can find. You’ve tried eating programs with prescribed portions. You’ve tried to make lifestyle changes and to change your eating habits. You’ve tried it all. Nothing has worked. You blame yourself. You say you don’t have enough will power. You say you’re on the wrong diets. You think you just need the right diet. As you will see, that is simply not the case. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t blame the diets. Don’t blame the eating programs. Don’t even blame the food. It’s not the food. You just can’t help eating the way you do.

The fact of the matter is that you have virtually no control over your weight. That sounds like heresy, but it’s a fact. Actually you know it’s a fact. If it were possible for you to weigh less, you would have done it long ago. You have lots of responsibilities that you handle very well. You raise your kids, work at your job, deal with your daily problems and belong to organizations where you do fine work. The only things about yourself you really can’t control is your eating and your weight. Why do you think that is?

The real reason you have virtually no control over your weight is that you have emotional needs that you have been attempting to satisfy with food. You eat enough food, whatever the amount, to satisfy those needs. As long as you attempt to satisfy those emotional needs with food, you will weigh what you say you don’t want to weigh. You don’t have a weight problem. You have a problem satisfying your emotional needs. If you were just eating to get nourishment or because you enjoyed food, you would weigh exactly what you want to weigh. You wouldn’t be 30 pounds overweight.

What are emotional needs? There are lots of them. On a positive basis, they include the need for affection, love, companionship, security, peace of mind, happiness, comfort, pleasure, friendship and other things that people value emotionally. When you don’t get enough of any of those things, you find yourself eating. You are trying to satisfy those needs with food. On a negative basis they include the need to be free of fear, deprivation, anger, anxiety, stress, concern, frustration, nervousness, depression and other emotions that people don’t like and want to be free of. When you feel any of those emotions you find yourself eating. You are trying to avoid feeling those emotions by eating. You may want to deny that is why you are eating, and consequently weigh 30 pounds more than you do; but the fact is that is exactly why you eat as you do.