| It’s summer time. You want to go to the beach or to a swimming pool. But you don’t know if you muster the courage to do it. You’re embarrassed. You gained a lot of weight during the winter and you think you will look terrible in your bathing suit. Actually, you don’t just think you won’t look good. You know you won’t. What a dilemma! What are you going to do? Well, the first thing is that you are going to lose some weight so you will look better. O.k., you’ve been there before. So you pick a diet and you fight your way until you “lose” 10 or 15 pounds. Sure enough you are able to fit into your bathing suit, if you hold your breath or suck in your stomach or wear some loose fitting clothes over your bathing suit. After all, you don’t have to spend all your time in the water. You really don’t have to spend any of your time in the water. You just have to show up and be sure that people won’t make fun of you. Hey, why are you doing this? After all, you “lost” 15 pounds. Why are you even thinking about gaining it back? Why would you want to do that? You liked the way you looked, even though it was short-lived. Why would you give it up? Do you feel a kind of pull or tug to get back to what you weighed before summer came? What is pulling you back to the weight that you can’t stand? What is that mysterious feeling that you get when you “lose” weight that has made it impossible for you to keep weighing 15 pounds less? You know what it is. You can feel it. That feeling seems to insist that you put enough food in your mouth so that you “gain back” the weight you “lost.” You have found yourself helpless against that feeling. It always wins and you always end up at a weight that you can’t stand. You are able to muster enough “will power” to last you for a few months and then it somehow disappears. No amount of will power will ever beat an emotional need. Have you ever considered what your real problem is? Have you ever delved beneath the surface to find out what the feeling that makes you gain all that weight really is? Don’t you think you should? You know, or should know by now, that if that feeling goes away then there will be nothing compelling you to eat enough food to regain the weight you “lost.” The feeling is your need to get back to the weight at which you are emotionally comfortable. You will always weigh what you are emotionally comfortable weighing. No amount of will power will ever change that. You will always be fighting this battle with yourself every summer or every other time that loose clothes just won’t cut it. The only way you will “win” this battle is to eliminate eating for emotional reasons. Once you do that you will feel emotionally comfortable at any weight you choose. |
